Joy versus Fun

Some weeks ago, some students of my master’s degree wanted to go iceskating. They planned doing it on a Saturday or for me on the Shabbes. I politely told them I couldn’t join them. One of the students exclaimed « you can’t go iceskating on Shabbes ? But are you allowed to have fun ?! ». It really hurt me at first. It hurt me because Shabbes isn’t a day where you relax in the way lots of people think. Shabbes isn’t a day where you do all the things you don’t have time to do during the week as facebooking, watching movies, going shopping and so on. For a lot of people, the week-end is a time to disconnect from work/studies and having fun and nothing more. That’s not the point with the Shabbes.

On a another level I was also hurt by this remark because I wasn’t able to explain the essence of the Shabbes to the students. I reflected on this subject for a long time. It’s hard for me to explain what is the Shabbes. I know what it is. I know why I am keeping this mitzva but it’s still hard for me to be able to explain this concept. Of course Shabbes is a day where you rest, you take time to do things, you eat (a lot !) and so on but it’s also the day you pray, you reconnect with G-d, you reconnect with your family, with friends you didn’t see for a long time, with Shabbes meals or a walk.

Yesterday, I was still reflecting on this subjext when it hit me : the difference between the week-ed and the Shabbes is this :

Fun versus Joy.

That’s true.

During the week-end one wants to have fun not enjoying, not feeling joyful but having fun by doing a lot of fun things but that aren’t always fulfilling like going out to movies, going out to dinner, and spending countless hours trolling on the internet. I don’t say those things are useless, it’s relaxing for sure but after doing this, what do you get left ? What kind of emotion do you feel ? Are you feeling relaxed, peaceful and joyful or are you more tired than you were on Friday night ? It’s great to have fun but it’s more greater to find a balance between doing fun things and enjoying free time.

On the other side, what caracterizes Shabbes is joy.

It’s true, on Shabbes it’s forbidden to do a lot of fun things and a lot of people could think (and probably think) the Shabbes is a day where one is bored to death. One can’t go to the movies, can’t go to the swimming pool, can’t spend countless hours on the internet, can’t go to a nice restaurant.
But at the same time, Shabbes is the only day in the week when you can disconnect. Yes disconnect to better reconnect with what nourish you inner you. You disconnect from all the electronics, from the internet, from social media like Twitter, facebook, emails, from cellphone, from television and so on. But on the Shabbes you also reconnect and this is the best part. You reconnect with yourself and take it slow to do things, you’re not in a rush. You have 25 hours to feel this reconnection.
You reconnect with yourself but you also reconnect with G-d through prayer (even if you pray everyday, I personnally think the prayers on Shabbes are felt differently than during the week) and personal meditation. You also reconnect with your family, husband and children, parents and siblings, depending on your personal situation. You also reconnect with your friends. Time is spent doing nourishing things : discussing with the family, discussing with friends, studying the Torah, talking about the Torah, feeling again what it means to share, regaining strength through sleep, reading books you don’t have time to read during the week and go for a walk to reconnect with fresh air and nature.

I can assure you that putting joy first and not fun is the best choice you can make for yourself, for your inner self and for your own balance.

You don’t have to be jewish to disconnect, you don’t have to do it for a whole day but once in a week block few hours, a morning or an afternoon to step back, to disconnect from the ultra connected world we live in and reconnect with who you truly are, with what you truly search for, it will make you feel so much better than having fun doing things that don’t last nor stay with you.

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